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No question this time. I ask that you just hear me out. This is my year in review, not anyone else's, so don't judge med school based on my experience. Forewarning, the first part is a bit gloomy, but it gets better. Trust me.
Let's start off way back before med school. A lot, I mean, a lot of people told me med school was rough, but how rough would be determined by what you make of it. No doubt the work load would be difficult, more often than not. No doubt the emotional and stress toll would be difficult. In that personal statement for the application, you had to, basically, write about why you want to pursue a career as a physician in medicine. You wrote about how medicine excites your curiosity, how it has an emotional impact on you, how rewarding it is, how there's nothing else you would rather do, how it's a lifelong dedication. In med school, you better put your money where your mouth is. I wrote all that. Guess what? I got all my wishes...and more.
When you boil it down, the beast really is not the school or the education, but rather yourself. How far are you willing to push yourself? How dedicated are you? How determined are you? How much stress can you handle? How do you handle stress? How do you handle success and failure? How do you handle your classmates? Your family? Your friends? Your significant other? All of this on top of the meducation.
Here's a wise food for thought question in med school: "Do you like pancakes?" (http://rumorsweretrue.wordpress.com/2006/11/01/pancakes-every-morning/ and made into a Youtube video by students at Saint Louis University SOM). Well, I've learned that it doesn't matter if you do or you don't, you just have to eat them. But, the way I see it, pancakes are just more than the loads of mechanisms, pathways, disorders, treatments, and material med school serves. That's just the meducation part. What a lot of people who are not going or have not gone through the meducation don't understand is that studying and training doesn't really stop. Not at this point in the first 2 years. Lectures every day in the morning/afternoon. Studying in the evening/night. Here's the catch: studying on the weekends, on the holidays.
In reality, pancakes encompass all the other stuff that never really did cross my mind when I dreamed of getting into med school. Did I imagine the stress and pressure of med school would have affected me that much that I essentially shoved other life problems away so that I wouldn't have more problems to deal with? No. That was the hardest part as problems compounded and I just didn't want to deal with them.
Don't get me wrong. Med school so far has also been awesome. Fawesome. It's pretty much a love-hate relationship. I absolutely love what I'm learning and the clinical practice. The best moments were with patients. Interviewing them, learning from them, and applying words from books into real life actions. It's an awakening each time I see a disorder, a disease, an illness described in books and lecture notes. Sure, there are pictures, but nothing compares to the sight, the feel, the smell, and the emotions of witnessing medical conditions in the flesh. It was extremely rewarding to interact with patients in the first year. Last but definitely not least, I'm actually learning about stuff about which I want to learn and have dreamed of learning. I now know what is Wernicke encelopathy. Great success!
It's been a lot of work, a lot of hard work. Never have I worked so hard to be this mediocre. I find that relying on cramming and talent doesn't get me as far as they did back in undergrad. I have to work basically everyday even if it's for a little bit.
I've learned the main lesson so far is that med school is what you make of it. I can't get through it alone that's for sure. Although it's my journey, I need support and reality checks every now and then from the people I care most and when least expected, from strangers or people who I haven't really gotten to know. I'm a quarter of the way done, but there's a lot of miles left to travel. It's been rough, awesome, sad, happy, frustrating, relaxing, and anything else oxymoronic. Onward!
For those interested in or heading off to med school, remember when you we're a kid and your parents told you the stove top was hot? But, you couldn't just take their words and had to test it out for yourself. It's hot. Trust me. But, touch it anyway. You just have to. You could read that a million times and after a millionth time, you still wouldn't take my words for it. You shouldn't. That's the beauty of journey through medical education and training. You really don't know what's going to happen. Will you be able to handle the incessant studying? The incessant criticism? The loneliness? The mind games? The self-doubt? The highs of success? The love of others, or more preciously, the love of another? The relief of overcoming a hurdle? The loss of a relationship? The growing distance with close friends? The new bonds made in med school?
I would like to end this post with the absolute best advice I got for med school and a career in medicine from my clinical preceptor, "You need 4 things to get you through:
1) Something to do outside, a hobby, something to get your mind of school and training (and it may change from time to time)
2) Something you're passionate about in medicine
3) Someone to love you
4) Someone to love
I would totally do it again.
PS: Looking back, I really should have deferred acceptance a year to work, travel, and have an actually life/break before med school. Could have really used a year to just live and enjoy freedom.
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